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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27659465">then i will disappear</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/agathaomochearch/pseuds/agathaomochearch'>agathaomochearch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>caledonia [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians &amp; Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Gen, Natalie is dead now sorry, Post-The Battle of the Labyrinth (Percy Jackson)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:49:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,062</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27659465</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/agathaomochearch/pseuds/agathaomochearch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> Those weeks he had with them: Thalia, Luke and Annabeth, might’ve been among the best in his life. It was before - before everything went wrong. Luke had cheated someone out of a McDonald’s Happy Meal and Thalia had helped him pickpocket some snacks from a mom and pop corner store. It wasn’t much, not even to a five year-old like him but it was better than nothing. He remembered how Thalia and Luke sometimes went without dinner to feed them or how they would eat the worst food from their dumpster diving so he and Annabeth wouldn’t go hungry. Luke even moreso than Thalia. And then Luke completely switched it up by poisoning him and Thalia - by attempting to kill them. <i></i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Magnus heads to Camp Half Blood again after his mom is killed.</i>
  </i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magnus Chase &amp; Natalie Chase</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>caledonia [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953517</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>then i will disappear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Magnus was in shock. There was no other way to possibly put it. His mom- his mom was gone. Everything was gone. His life (his normal </span>
  <em>
    <span>human</span>
  </em>
  <span> life) was all gone. Even his uncles, his only remaining family. His mom had told him, right before- right before </span>
  <em>
    <span>it </span>
  </em>
  <span>happened, not to go to them. For anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he was going to do anything, then it would be to keep his mom’s last wishes. So he packed up what he had (nothing, it was all gone, gone, </span>
  <em>
    <span>gone</span>
  </em>
  <span>) and headed to the only other place he thought he might be able to stay - Camp Half Blood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From what he had heard from other demigods - once they were away from camp, they were immediately targeted by monsters. He was different. He was lucky. He had only ever met a couple of giant frost things that he assumed were hyperboreans and, well, Jack was pretty efficient at getting rid of those, even if he sung Taylor Swift the entire time or made a million snarky comments a minute - that was Magnus’ thing! Jack was already a talking magic sword, he didn’t need to be a personality thief too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first issue Magnus had with making it to Long Island was his lack of funds. He had no money whatsoever. Even if he did - he wasn’t keen on being on a plane if he was going to get attacked. So he did what he needed to do: shoplift a map from the hiking shop that he and <strike>his mom</strike> - that he used to buy from. Then he headed out, following the fairly direct road to a place where he was once an arboreal protection.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was an approximately three to four day walk from Boston to Long Island but Magnus, despite the danger he was almost certainly in, wanted to take a week over it. If only to clear his head and get a hold of himself before camp’s explosive chaos. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first day was a long hard slog with nearly no breaks. Magnus walked from eight am to dusk, the frigid March air barely affecting him as he set up camp for the night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite what had happened, Magnus felt nothing. It was almost as if he had turned off his emotions in a way to cope. Maybe his body knew it wasn’t a good time for him and he would get hit with the emotion later. And the memories. And the pain. The campfire burned to a crisp before Magnus allowed himself to rest, his head on his folded jacket, his hands clenched around Jack, almost in prayer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, Magnus would never pray. What good would it do him? The most the gods had ever done for him was turn him into a blasted tree with healing sap - a constant reminder of what had happened. Then he lost five years of his life. At least Thalia had delayed aging - Magnus went from six to twelve in, what was for him, a handful of seconds. At the very least, he should have been allowed to bypass puberty and not get shoved into the most awkward point of life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> alive, though. Even though sometimes he wished he wasn’t - that it was his mom in his place. That it was him who had been blown to smithereens, not the best- </span>
  <em>
    <span>not the best person in the world</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not his mom. Tears threatened to overcome him but he simply gulped them down, refusing himself the catharsis that he desperately wanted. He didn’t deserve it. Not when he was weeping over his own mistakes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he had simply… left. If he did what younger him had been brave enough to do and jumped ship, his mom would still be alive. And sure, maybe, when he was five, it was more about Aunt Helen and Annabeth that made him run but that five years… it made him cautious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Magnus rose with the sun, kicked the ashes of the fire to make sure all the embers were well and truly dead and dust, and left for another long day on trudging along a dirty dust path or maybe a long forest trail, full enough of nature to make him forget for even a minute, even if it wasn’t what he deserved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That night as he watched Jack expertly skin a rabbit - his dinner - and built a makeshift spit to cook it over, he drove his mind to remind him of the last time he and something else mythological shared a campfire. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Those weeks he had with them: Thalia, Luke and Annabeth, might’ve been among the best in his life. It was before - before everything went wrong. Luke had cheated someone out of a McDonald’s Happy Meal and Thalia had helped him pickpocket some snacks from a mom and pop corner store. It wasn’t much, not even to a five year-old like him but it was better than nothing. He remembered how Thalia and Luke sometimes went without dinner to feed them or how they would eat the worst food from their dumpster diving so he and Annabeth wouldn’t go hungry. Luke even moreso than Thalia. And then Luke completely switched it up by poisoning him and Thalia - by attempting to kill them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he found out, he had wanted to hunt Luke down, to stab him as viciously as Luke had taught him once with a dagger, to make him feel like how Magnus felt before he woke up, to punish him, to hurt him. Even to kill him.  It wasn’t as if he didn’t deserve it. When they were on Mount Tam - Luke was completely deluded - he kept saying stuff about how he wanted to make life better for demigods. It didn't take a genius to know that killing them wasn't exactly achieving that goal. Luke was the one Magnus with - not his father. Sure he was bitter toward the god - whoever he was - but he also didn't want to waste time hating someone who didn't even matter in the grand scheme of things for Magnus. Luke did. And Luke was going to die. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The third day, he had no time to think, running from cyclopes which wanted to make him their next snack. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On the eve of the fourth day, tired and weeping, Magnus Chase stumbled into Cabin Eleven and passed out on the nearest bunk. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Is this way shorter than the last one? Yeah. Sorry. </p><p>The way I see it - Magnus takes Artemis' warning to heart so actually wasn't there for Battle of the Labyrinth. Like he was just chilling in Boston or something. And like Randolph is still involved with Loki in this universe so that's bad for Natalie.</p><p>My tumblr is @malloryiswlw if you want to check it out</p></blockquote></div></div>
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